The End

This is the end of this blog. Ann and I agreed to create this blog about our relationship during our hardest time last October. Its purpose was to say in writing the things we do and how they meant to us, and to inspire the world of our love story. Yesterday, Ann decided to not be a part in this effort anymore. Without her, this blog lost its purpose. Thank you for reading and goodbye.

Fuente Christmas Tree Lighting

Today was the lighting of the Christmas Tree in Fuente, Cebu City. There were lots of people, young and old, went to the event. The traffic going to the Capitol was bad. It would have been really fun if Ann was with me.

The Fireworks

    

Our Rules of Love

1. - Never talk about break up. No "If's" or "What if's". Or anything that implies breaking up or separating.

    + No matter how much it hurt, the relationship must remain the same.

2. - Avoid communicating or seeing Ex's without permission or without telling the other about it, before or after.

    + The avoidance is there to prevent jealousy and to prevent igniting past flames. If one initiates the conversation, he/she must tell BEFORE doing it so.

3. - No cheating. No "staring" at the opposite sex. No unnecessary casual talk with the opposite sex.

    +  If one needs to talk, talk to the other*.

4. - No dating. No one-on-one meet ups with the opposite sex. If it's with a friend, one must tell the other* before or after.

   + Hanging out or Dining (with or without a third party company) is considered Dating if the opposite sex is an admirer.

5. - No sex outside the relationship. No showing of private parts in pictures, videos, or live stream to friends or strangers.

    + Sex with someone else is cheating to the highest degree and is punishable only by death.

6. - No lying. No hiding of anything from each other. No denying of acts and facts.

   + Tell the whole truth and nothing but before the other* will.


Legend:

* = Eu or Anne


Rules can turn a relationship boring, or make it stronger. We hate rules, but we know these are necessary to stop us from arguing. More rules will be added when we find it's needed.

Goodbye Facebook

We did something different today. We deleted our Facebook accounts. This morning, Anne deleted hers. She didn't want me to delete mine. But what's the point of logging in Facebook if she's not there? So, a few minutes ago, I deleted mine also. Our Facebook accounts did a 2014 version of Romeo and Juliet. Goodbye, Facebook, goodbye!

Let's see if it stays deleted :D

A Diary

I took a sudden midnight trip last November 5, Wednesday to be with Ann. Actually a bus, a fast craft boat to get to the next island, and a jeep ride to her city. She came to pick me up at 5 am in the Market area where most of the passenger got off from the jeep. I was surprised how quickly we recognized each other with just a look in the eye, considering it was still dawn, I was wearing a cap, and she had a new straight silky hair. When you're in love, you will just know their presence without even looking, just like magic. 

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We went to McDonalds for breakfast. I had a burger. She had McDo chicken, but it wasn't good as it was from last night since they're only serving Breakfast Meals every morning. It's a reminder not to eat chicken in McDonalds in the morning. We also had coffee. My first coffee since grade school in my grandmother's house. I needed that coffee since I didn't sleep the whole trip last night.

We stayed in Check Inn pension house and talked. Ann brought her clothes already for the day. We only had a couple of hours before we go to what I came there for. But first, I needed to know how was she. If she was okay. I needed to know if she can go through it today. And most of all, I needed to know if she was still the same Anne I knew and loved. 

She changed her hair a day before. I liked it. I liked her old hair, but I also like this one. It's the same hair she had when I first saw her. A younger look, but a matured Ann now. It's like watching a child star that had grown up, you can still see the child look that you remember her but also happy to see her grown.

But my whole concern was to know if she had changed.

She looked OK, she sounded OK. And I know if I asked her that question, she'll just answer me she's okay. Perhaps time would reveal it to me. I don't want her to pretend around me. Nor me doubting her. I wanted us to be honest as before without holding back so the other would not get hurt. The only way to get it without saying it is to give it time.

Come the 8:30am schedule. We got there on time before it started. We marched into the building like a married couple. I hold her hand tight, I didn't want to make her feel alone. I don't want everyone to think she's alone. It's never a good place to be alone. How her family let her do this by herself is beyond me. But I wasn't there to judge her family, they had their important reasons they can't make it today.

Our first time to be there was a learning experience for both of us. The room, the people, the tone, the atmosphere. We even stayed longer to learn more how things were done. After a discussion, we were left kinda disappointed of what would be the outcome. For something so devastating like that to be treated with less importance was disheartening. It was a big tensely day for us, yet so ordinary for the others.

Then it was over by 9 am. We left the building. Anne had the tricycle driver dropped her off to her school for her 9:30 class, then me to the pension house. Which was a wrong pension house. I kept the room receipt in my back pocket, so the guard there just gave me the right direction to that building. It gave me an opportunity to wander the city also. I was delighted to see the bell tower. I took pictures of it. Then their Cathedral. I went inside, kneeled down and prayed that Ann would be okay. I wanted to cry and scream in my mind, but I hold that thought as I already done it in Redemptorist Church. I should say sorry in that church, I was really angry of what happened. A repetition of that would turn the situation like I did it only for the sake of the drama. I was done doing dramatizing what happened. I was with her now, and I still love her as ever, if not more. That's all what matters.

I found the place we were staying. I met Anne again at noon after her class. We ate lunch in Robinsons with her sister. Anne also let me taste Salvanas for the first time, it's a delicacy in their city. Then we went back to the city, back to the Bell Tower again. She had another class at 6pm and I picked her up in her school at 7:45pm. It was kinda sweet. I wanted to do that since I never done it to any of my ex's. We talked and walked for blocks, she was showing me around until we reached downtown to this big carinderia/restaurant/movie bar. We ate our dinner there. It was raining then, so we just went back to the pension house for the night.

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November 6, 2014, Thursday. We couldn't extend our stay in the room for another day since all the rooms in that pension house were already booked in advance on that particular date because of some local event. Anne didn't have a class that morning so we checked out and went to the place where the tricycle driver wrongly took me yesterday, called O.K. Pension House. Their room was cheaper, it was an older place and had an exotic Indian look and feel. We had lunch across the street with her sister, Leiza, again. We ordered a lot, and we 3 ate them all. That night Anne didn't feel like eating a lot, so we dined in a pastry shop. She ordered a pusit in a ricebowl. And I had pancakes, kinda like Jollibee's breakfast meal. And some special bodbod. We had a great time together. We took some pictures. We even talked to my father on the phone why I was there. Then we went to the boulevard after. The moon was up, a perfect evening to go out on a date. There were not a lot of people, so we were free and loud as we want. We were having fun until it was getting late so went back to the pension house exactly midnight. Ann did her research for their science project in the pension house big lobby, it was the only place in the building where there was wifi. I sat beside her, just observing how people came in and out of the building until she was done.

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November 7, 2014, Friday. Anne had a class in the morning, so I just checked out of the place. She had me going to their apartment. I was there yesterday, so I already know the place. There I met her mom, Sarah, for the first time. She was folding their clothes. It was awkward, of course. I didn't know what to say, I didn't want her to see in my eyes what's going on with me and Ann. Like a mom, she ignored the awkwardness and went to talk about what happened 2 days ago. She thanked me for being there for her daughter like it was a normal conversation. We all ate lunch in a small Carinderia near the apartment. It was even more awkward because it was not the kind of place where one would take his in-laws for a first dinner together. It was better than their plan of just eating in the apartment. When we were done, she left us. She didn't follow us back in the apartment. 

Ann and I went to look for a new place to stay again. We passed Sky Cable office, which was offering a 15 day trial period for new subscribers. Ann decided to just take the form and come back later when she fully decided to get their internet service. We then checked in Vintage Inn where her uncle was working, not sure if it was a good idea at all. The place was just across the market area, where I come off the jeepney 2 days ago. I got a sense now that this city isn't a big place at all. We went to Robinsons in the afternoon. She was looking to buy the cellophane treatment for her new hair. I let her be with those women in Watsons. They did some make over on her face that took hours. I spent the time looking around Robinsons while waiting for her. I went back to find her talking seriously to a woman. I thought the woman was kind of gypsy with her hairdo. They were just standing 3 meters from an empty chairs. So I casually said hi to them both and sat down, waiting for them to finish talking. Bad Idea. Anne thought it was very rude because it was her aunt and was suspiciously asking her about me just few minutes earlier. Ann wanted me to talk to her. And boy, I wanted to talk to her too, but when they stopped talking, her aunt just turned and left. Why on earth would she pay a courtesy to a rude boyfriend anyway. Ann went to my side and was very mad at me.

We went to Robinsons' department store and had a misunderstanding about the bag that I wanted to get for her. I guess it was an anger fueled by the incident earlier with her aunt. So we went back to Vintage Inn in a fight. How I wish I can turn back time to talk to her aunt, I really do. I missed the big opportunity to be known in person by one of her big family of aunts. Ann made sure I realized my mistake when we were in our room. She went to school at 6 pm, while I went back to Robinsons to buy the cellophane hair treatment that she didn't get to buy while we were there just an hour ago. I returned to Vintage quickly, and went around the Market Area. I continued walking until I reached the O.K. pension house again, then followed by the Bell Tower. I was 30 seconds inside the Cathedral when Anne called if I was picking her up. Of course, I will, how could I not. I went to pick her up and we went to this secluded place to eat the best barbecue in the city with the nicest vendor you'll meet. She said it was her favorite place to go but had not been there in a while. We ate our dinner with rice inside a coconut leaf called puso. I think she forgave me already of what happened earlier. We slept early that night.

November 8, 2014, Saturday. Anne supposed to have a class the whole afternoon as her teacher will be out of town next week. Me being there, she decided not to go. We planned to have a big lunch with her mom in a fine restaurant, that too didn't happen. So it was just us, Leiza and Marvin, her 11 year old brother in Moon Cafe. The food was great. We bought my ticket for tomorrow's trip after lunch. Then we went to Le Plaza, a big department store downtown. We played games and shopped clothes for me as I was running out of clean clothes to wear. I also finally got her the bag that she liked. It was red, complete with a compartment for a laptop. I liked it too. We had dinner in McDonalds after, then went back to our room where Leiza and Marvin slept with us. Ann and I talked late in the night alone in the balcony and some chairs scattered in the building. I hate knowing I was going to leave her again tomorrow. Like in our past meetings, that goodbye sadness was was creeping in our conversation again. I can't get used to this sadness even if the last time we said goodbyes was only 2 months ago. I remember calling it a drama when CNN shows US soldiers hugging their family as they leave for Iraq and Afghanistan. It's not a drama for the cameras, it's for real. You really will feel it when you're about to leave someone you love behind. We went back to the room and slept earlier than Leiza and Marvin, who were playing with the ipad and laptop.

       

          

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November 9, 2014, Sunday. Ann and I woke up early, we went to the same spot where we talked last night and talked more. We then went across the street in the Market place to eat our breakfast, or call it lunch. Leiza and Marvin went back to their apartment after eating where we ate earlier as we packed up. We checked out a little over 5 min than the checkout time. The concierge didn't bother it. We went to Ann's apartment and left my bag there. I wasn't going to get a room anymore since I'm leaving tonight. We stayed in the apartment for a while. I helped bring Ann's clothes to the laundry shop. When we got back, Anne wanted an ice cream for us all, but the small bakery didn't have plastic spoons, so we just bought shopao and eat in the apartment with Leiza and Marvin. I wanted to ask Marvin to tell me if Anne has another boyfriend when I'm not around, but he's too busy playing with Anne's iPad. It's a joke and I don't want to poke our trust in each other anymore or ever, so I didn't go for it.

We then take a jeepney ride to Valencia to take Marvin back to his parents' place. The trip was awesome since we get to sit infront with the driver. The ride was like a ride from Mactan to Mandaue where the jeepney won't leave until it's full, complete with people sitting across seats with wooden chairs. I understood it and was just happy to play along.

The trip was a lot shorter than the wait for the jeepney to leave. Soon I saw Ann's mom again as she waited for us at the side of the street. I really want her to to know that I'm not here to hurt her daughter ever or take her away from her. I just don't know how to say it. Maybe if we had more time with her, the right words will just come out. But since she's always doing something so finding time together won't come along easy. She did say she understood what we are doing, which Ann and I didn't understand what she meant. When Ann tried to ask what she meant by it, she didn't answer. Instead, she hugged and kissed Marvin in the head. Her affection to him was really sweet. I can tell she reallyl loved her kids. I knew she loves Ann as much and it hurts her to see her all grown up with a man now. I felt so guilty of making her realize it.  

 The concept of kids growing up, moving out, and having a relationship with someone is widely understood, yet mostly frightening when that day comes to each member in the family. I protected my mom from getting that feeling from me by not introducing any of my past girlfriends to her. I meant to deprive her of that to stop her from laughing when it fails because I know moms won't like it. And also, I only wanted it to be with the perfect girl. The one of a kind girl Ann is. I'm sorry, Inmaculada, you just missed getting to know the greatest girl in the world. 

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We went back to the apartment, placed the laptop in Ann's new red bag, which she's so happy to have that she won't let me carry it even though it's too heavy. And we were off to CD-R King in Robinsons to find a fix for the mic problem that I never noticed since I bought the laptop over a year ago. The sales lady was patient enough to help us try their headsets with a mic, which overrode the laptop's internal audio problems. I can see Ann's excitement now that she can use the laptop with her online classes soon. We ate our dinner in Mang Inasal again, with free soup. I didn't know how she made them give her those. She then bought me and my sister a pasalubong, 2 boxes of Sans Rival's Salvanas. She said it's her peace offering to my sister for making me travel unscheduled. It was a very nice gesture of her, but my sister can take care of things here without me. I came to be with Ann when everyone wasn't there for her. It wasn't a hard choice, it was a matter of getting there in time in short notice.

On our way out after watching two funny guys doing Zumba in Robinsons, we saw a family with the kids playing in Claw Crane game machines. We played also coz she really wanted to get one of those stuff bears. I like her to have one too, kinda like you'll see lovers do in the carnaval in the movies. Of course, the claw let go of the bear too quickly. After tying a few times, Ann was feeling down and sad already, which I find so cute and funny. Sweet moments like this was what I'll miss soon.

We arrived back to the apartment, left the bag and laptop, and rush to the Cathedral for the 7 pm Sunday Mass. After that we passed their plaza where there was a singing contest going on as part of their City Charter day later in the month. We watch a few contestants sang. Laughed at them too. Took some pictures. We were supposed go the boulevard when we passed an okay-okay made up tent. Ann found 5 shorts she likes in 45 minutes of okay-okay for 100 pesos. Unbelievable, I should drop by in one those here and do the same. Why buy 400 pesos shorts if you can get for 50 pesos only? There's always a lesson to learn with my lovely urban girl, Ann.

We went back to the apartment and get my bag. We took a long sad walk to the pier. We then sat in the boulevard for awhile. Here I was, facing the reality of leaving her again. That soon. Too soon. The time was so cruel on us. People that have gotten close shouldn't be separated like this ever. I tried to focus on the bright side, that this is good for everyone's perception while we are still not married. But there was just so many things happening, overlapping one on top of  the other that the emotions of longing one's presence to be there all the time was so overwhelming to ignore. When you know someone struggled and tried hard to overcome it as best as one could, you can't just look away. You gotta admire their strength and offer help. It's our human nature. In this case, I saw how Ann struggled and how she tried to keep it together all by herself. I want to save her. Get her out of there. Take her with me. Whatever I have, I can share it with her to start anew. But I can't just do that. She has family there, her parents, sister and a brother, who loved her just as much and are also helping her as much when they can. I can help, but I have no right whatsoever to control her and take her away from them. Not until we are married. When she is given away to me. That didn't even sound right at all. I won't intrude, as most of her extended family didn't even know me yet. So here I am, holding back the pain secretly. But shouldn't mind it. Ann knew how much I loved her. It's wise to wait for her to finish school when the pressure from her family won't be there anymore. This was our plan before, we just need to be strong and follow it through no matter how much it hurt that we can't stay together.

We walked all the way inside the pier where they collect the tickets. This was as far as they let non-passenger go. We sat on the seats for a minute. I can't leave her there like that. It's almost midnight and the people in the streets were getting thin. She agreed when I convinced her to let me walk her until she can get a ride home. We said our goodbyes, a hug and a kiss. I watched her turned her head to find me as the tricycle she was in turned and go. Until then, be safe, my love. 


  

Meeting Jose Mari Chan

Adding to our collection is the old classic Jose Mari Chan Christmas CD signed by the man himself. I got to shake his hand too. He was such a nice and down to earth guy, he talked to everyone and answered their questions which made the album signing took so long. It was worth the wait. We may not be a fan back then, but we are now.

Teacher

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This is Teacher Anna

• Teacher Anna is beautiful. She brightens my day every time I look at her smile.
• Teacher Anna has an amazing voice. I love to hear her talk all day without getting annoyed.
• Teacher Anna is smart. She knows what everyone is talking about, movies, books, politics, music, gadgets, and Math.
• Teacher Anna is funny. She makes me laugh so much that when I wanted her to stop, she'll make me laugh even more.
• Teacher Anna is sexy. She is as white as her ipad, with lips as red as a Jollibee baseball cap, and has hypnotic eyes that I cant say no.
• Teacher Anna is tall. She makes all my ex-gf look like dwarves.
• Teacher Anna is strong. She can and had crushed my hand a couple of times without her knowing it.
• Teacher Anna has the best hair. It's as long, curly, and wavy hair like Wonder Woman's. She sleeps in it and still look great when she gets up in the morning. 
• Teacher Anna smells good. Her strawberry scent is everywhere in my place, my clothes, my computer table, my bed, my socks. When she leaves, I can still smell her.
• Teacher Anna is hot. She wears short shorts, short skirts, and small t-shirts. When she's staying in my place, she wears my clothes.
• Teacher Anna is brave. She goes to see doctors and hospitals alone, travels alone to places she's never been, and not afraid to try things she never tried before. 
• Teacher Anna never forgets. She can remember all the things I told her, even those in our early years. Promises stayed promises because she reminds me of them all.
• Teacher Anna is resourceful. When she wants something, she'll study and learn how people get it. Then gets it by herself.
• Teacher Anna is kind. To her friends, sister, brother, even to stray kids, the crazy homeless, and the crippled beggars, she never refuse to help when she can.
• Teacher Anna loves technology. Maybe they're not the latest and the most expensive gadgets out there, but she has them all and knows how to use them.
• Teacher Anna can hack yahoo mail. She helped me proved that my ex-gf was lying to me right from the beginning by hacking the ip addresses of her emails to me.
• Teacher Anna is down to earth friendly. She has over 4k friends in her facebook, and talks to more people in person, from the ordinary to the presidential candidates.
• Teacher Anna is not shy. When I don't know how or can't do it, she's not shy to ask others for help for me.
• Teacher Anna can make you cry. Whenever I'm stonecold, she talks to me by her heart and I end up feeling guilty for being inconsiderate to not just her, but to everyone.
• Teacher Anna likes green. Anything green to green living. She doesn't smoke, and keeps her trash in her bag to keep environment green clean. 
• Teacher Anna is sweet. As sweet as she is in making me give all my chocolates to her, she also shares them to her sister and brother.
• Teacher Anna is careful. She's mindful of her things. She has her phones and ipad with protective covers to keep them from getting scratches.
• Teacher Anna is determined. Whatever plans she has, her mind is already 5 steps ahead before she tells everyone what they are.
• Teacher Anna is faithful. She loves me for what I am, and stayed with me even when her friends and family wanted her to date someone else.
• Teacher Anna is romantic. Whenever we go out, she gets little things along the way to make each experience memorable.
• Teacher Anna is loving. When I'm down, she's there to cheer me up, joking, laughing, and making faces until I forget my sadness.
• Teacher Anna is pro-active. She joins in different causes and organizations, and talks to the influential people behind those groups. They're in her facebook.   
• Teacher Anna is a hardworker. Her company made her work 12 hours a day, when I told her I should report it, she said no, because it will hurt her fellow teachers too.
• Teacher Anna is modest. She behaves the same way whether we are going to the dusty old downtown, to the classy midtown, or to the expensive uptown malls.
• Teacher Anna is frank. When the service is bad, someone working there will know it.
• Teacher Anna is dynamic. She goes where the day takes her, and takes whatever the day gives her. If she needs more, there will be a day for it.
• Teacher Anna likes kids. She works with kids and wants to have plenty of them of her own someday. I want 1, she wants 3.
• Teacher Anna is inventive. She makes props for her students for them to understand better. She draws, colors, and pastes them on hard boards. Even making paper-mache for a single class. 
• Teacher Anna is emotional. She cries when she's hurt. She feels down when she fails. She's angry when she's called fat. And she's happy when I give her chocolates.
• Teacher Anna is witty. Tell her a joke, she'll have a funnier comeback for it. Insult her, and you'll get the cutest sarcasm you'll ever hear.
• Teacher Anna is unassuming. Her personality is bigger than anyone around her that she doesn't have to do anything to attract attention. She gets acknowledged right away.
• Teacher Anna is affectionate. She hugs anything she thinks cute. She held my 1 year old nephew in her arms and whispered to me, "I want one". 
• Teacher Anna is energetic. She can dance the Asereje (the Ketchup song) by Las Ketchup and the whole building shakes. 
• Teacher Anna is a brilliant teacher. The company she worked trusted her to write alone their school curriculum in just a few days after being hired.

And most of all,

• Teacher Anna is my fiancee. She's the one I'm spending my life with everyday for the last 4 years and I want a hundred more. I love her so much no matter what. And I'm gonna marry her next year.

When Life Takes Us By Surprise....

Don't know if it's day or night

Am I goin' wrong or right

I'm alone again, I'm without a friend

Don't know if I'm still alive

Am I gonna lose my mind?

will I fall again, will I stand the pain?

When life takes me by surprise

Will I just close my eyes?

Will I just let it be?

When life takes all your dreams away

It's hard to find the way

The strength to carry on

But I feel these tears will make me strong

Everything is turning grey

Just waiting for tomorrow, hey

gotta find myself

gotta break this shell

Cause I won't let it get me down

Don't wanna wear this ugly frown

I can start again

I believe I can

When life takes me by surprise

I won't just close my eyes

I won't just let it be

Cause I'll be strong enough to fight

To know what's wrong or right

And I will find my way

Someday, someday

Getting our names together in a book.

I haven't gotten much sleep for more than a week now. Sleepy but can't sleep and weary but not tired, I went to Claudia Gray and Madeleine Roux's book signing in Ayala 2 days ago. This has been a secret addiction of mine to go to these events for the last 2 years.

It's now about to change because instead of having only my name in the written dedication by the author, I now include her. And I felt better. I felt like I shared the book with her by letting her own it also.

Madeleine Roux asked if Eu and Anne are my kids. I said, "No, that's me and my girlfriend". Surprised, she told me her story the day before the book signing in Manila that a young girl had her book signed and said it was for her kids.

So why am I reading Young Adult books? The answer is simple, there will be movies of them soon. Will I not watch the movie because it was a YA book? The movie version only complements the book. The real story is in the book. 

I didn't know I was already doing it.

Starting to get too close to someone can only result one thing. Annoyance. I thought after what happened, I should be there close to her. To be that someone to talk to so she doesn't have to go looking for someone else. Texting every waking hour. Convincing that nothing has changed. Looking for a solution, a closure of sort, moving on, and to forget about it.

I didn't know I was already intruding like a priest to someone who wants to take his own life. I forgot to ask if I was needed. Everyone needs help once in a while, but wanting to be needed is down right pathetic, and I didn't know I was already doing it.

I'm standing too close, and this party is over! I need to get the fuck out of people's problems.

See if my name shows as the author

Find me?

Test test test

Hellooooo, Hiiiiiiiii, Helllllllooooo, Hhhhiiiiiii